Today is June 14, 2011. (for those who haven't looked at a calendar) I am mulling some ideas I have. Ideas about what I want to do in the coming months. Where I want to go. I've a couple of trips planned, but beyond that, I really want and need to get my goals sorted. I've never been good at planning ahead too far. I struggle planning 6-12 months ahead. I have a panic attack when someone asks me where I want to be in 5 years, 10 years, or 15 years. I just don't know. Part of my struggle with planning ahead stems from the fact that I was born the youngest child to parents that didn't plan to have anymore children. As a result of this, I have seen many family members die. One of my earliest memories is of coloring at one of my uncle's funerals. I can remember walking around the funeral home wondering why everyone looked so sad, but could still smile. I truly believe that seeing life come to an end at such an impressionable age made an impact on me. I believe in living life to the fullest in the moment. Because of this I refuse to plan more than 12 months ahead. Even that much time is a struggle for me because how do I know that I will be here at that point in time.
Even with this planning problem I know that I need to figure out where my life is going.
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